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On breaking up and being on the other end of the story, yung iniwan, in short.
I too have a fair share of heartbreaking stories, similar to what you might be going through today.
I have always connected the pain of breaking up with someone to the Stages of Grief. I am serious.
Let me tell you why.
Stages of Grief
Denial – What in the world have I done wrong? This is not over yet!
Sounds familiar? One day you two are ok, the next day he is begging for his freedom.
For the most part, especially if coming out from a long term relationship, being with that person is a part of a daily routine. Taking him out of your system means like turning off the TV in the middle of watching Aldub.
It is devastating. You deny, for days, or weeks. Masakit.
Anger – Anong feeling niya, hindi lang sya ang lalake sa mundo!!!
And here comes anger, or call it rage if you will. This is where all the bitterness comes in. You will start posting FB status that is full of nothing but bitterness. Ang sinasabi ko sa yo ate, ang ampalaya kinakain yan, hindi inuugali.
Pero sige. I proseso mo yan.
It is difficult to realize and see that all of your efforts are slowly coming down the drain. This is the stage where you will think of all the things that you have done in the name of love. Ang tanga ko ba? Probably, but know that whatever you have done before, you have done it out of love. No regrets na lang, if kaya mo.
Bargaining – Puwede bang humingi ng 2nd chance?
Di ka naman kasi tumitigil sa kaka emote sa kanta ng Up Dharma Down.
Sa hindi inaaasahang
Pagtatagpo ng mga mundo
May minsan lang na nagdugtong,
Damang dama na ang ugong nito.
Di pa ba sapat ang sakit at lahat
Na hinding hindi ko ipararanas saýo
Ibinubunyag ka ng iyong mata
Sumisigaw ng pag-sinta.
At this stage, you will feel desperate. You will feel that you can still save the relationship, because who would even want to start all over again? … and the fear of not finding that person that can ultimately make your knees so weak, dahil in love na in love ka.
Fortunately, di nakasama sa pag aamok stage mo ang pagbura ng kanyang mobile number, at pag uunfriend sa kanya sa facebook, or instagram or twitter.
You will start bargaining, to the point that you might be losing your own self respect. Pa enter ka na sa “desperada mode”.
Wag ganyan. Tigilan mo yan. Isama mo na ang pagtigil pansamantala sa pakikinig sa kantang “Tadhana”.
Depression – Ayoko ng mabuhay. Lahat ng bagay, it reminds me of him.
Medyo maarte ka sa puntong ito, pero alam ko yang pakiramdam na yan. Depression stage is kind of tricky pa nga for some because they tend to mask the pain with fake smiles and laughters. For example at work, you will pretend to be all ok and happy.. but it is at the end of the day, pag nag uwian na silang lahat, that is when you will feel the emptiness. Parang may kulang. Parang abnormal. Ayoko ng mabuhay. Ayan ka na naman.
I would say deal with the pain. Acknowledge that you are in a situation where you have nothing to do but process it. There are no short cuts in moving on. Mahirap. I know.
Acceptance – Mahirap, pero kaya ko! :’)
Days will pass by, miserable ka, hindi ka kumakain. Kulang na lang mag hibernate ka. Hindi mo kinakausap ang mga kaibigan mo. All of a sudden, you distant yourself. You don’t want to discuss anything with friends, because telling the story all over again revives the pain, and before you know it, nasa stage 1 ka na naman. Wag ganun, dahil nasa stage 5 ka na e. Konti na lang.
Akala mo mahirap, hindi naman pala.
Akala mo hindi ka makaka move on… kayang kaya naman pala.
Akala mo it will take years, pero 2 months lang and you are all ok na.
All I can say is, tama ka sa punto na mahirap. Oo nakakabaliw. Oo minsan feeling mo talaga pasan mo ang daigdig, and that feeling ng iniwan, at the time na akala mo perfect na ang lahat.
Yung pakiramdam na kung pwede lang sana humingi ng 2nd chance and you will make everything right.
The sad truth in relationship is it’s a two way deal.
Kahit gawin mo ang lahat, if the other person feels that it is over , then it is over.
Basta ang masasabi ko, kaya mo yan 🙂
Tapos kapag naka move on ka na at lahat, saka siya babalik na para bang walang nangyari.
Tatanggapin mo ba? Pag usapan naten yan sa sunod.. 🙂